A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. Most of them do not make a mark on the pasture of our lives. Simran Khurana is the Editor-in-Chief for ReachIvy, and a teacher and freelance writer and editor, who uses quotations in her pedagogy. Nobody is awake to see either one of them. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me. The New Year, like an infant heir to the whole world, was waited for, with welcomes, presents, and rejoicings. Some of us celebrate the occasion by partying into the wee hours of the morning; others struggle to stay awake to watch the clock hands move past twelve. May my wishes come true and may you have a charming and lucky New Year.”, “Today we do not know what the New Year would bring for us. Successfully wasted 358 days of 2017 8 more to go. Who has time to party on New Year's Eve? It takes me all evening to set my clocks ahead a year.- Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder, Miami asks residents not to celebrate New Year by shooting into the air, because the bullets will come back down.- Dave Barry ‏@rayadverb, New Years parades have a lot in common with Santa Claus. Let’s wish our family, relatives, friends and corporate a very Happy New Year 2020. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.- Jay Leno.

The pen is in your hands. Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing. Share 'em with your old man. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.” » J. O’Rourke, “I wish I didn’t watch (Dick Clark) because New Year’s Eve is that one little time when you get to suspend the disbelief that next year is going to be crap. Happy New Year!” New Year Decoration Ideas, “This Year may you end up fighting less with your partner over TV remote.”, “I wish your efforts at trimming your goatee at home turn out better this year. For last year’s words belong to last year’s language And next year’s words await another voice. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. You are supposed to forgive all those who hurt you and be open to new relationships, with open arms. New Year’s Eve, when auld acquaintances be forgot. The problem is that I gain 30. I made no resolutions for the New Year. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. I’ve been waiting 365 days to say “happy new year” since I had so much fun saying it last year. A New Year is the chance to start over with a clean slate. Vow not to make a promise you do not think you can keep. charities. Remember when we were young and wanted to stay up for New Year’s? It’s like an excuse: you drink too much, you make a lot of promises you’re not going to keep; the next morning as soon as you wake up you start breaking them. I lived through 2020. Every New Year’s I have the same question: “How did I get home?” - Melanie White. First rule of 2021: No one talks about 2020. Happy New Year!”, “This Year may god inspire you to finally enroll in that anger management course.”, “I pray sincerely no sequel is released in your favorite vampire romance this year”, “I wish you can maintain your resolution to quit smoking a few days more this new year. ", "Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. This New Years I resolved to lead a better life. New Year’s resolution last year need to get in shape for spring. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

Every New Year brings a chance to mark the passage of time, reflect on the past, and embrace the future. Nobody is awake to see either one of them.- Melanie White, Cartoon by Bob Kroeker, Froggy Bottom Productions, Kansas City, Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?- Ogden Nash, This New Years I was going to make a resolution never to be late again, but I didn’t wake up until January 2nd.- Melanie White, "Out with the old, in with the new" is a fitting expression for a holiday that is based on vomiting.- Andy Borowitz, Usually my main goal at a New Year’s party is to remember who I came with.- Melanie White, Deer readers, my gnu years resolution is to tell you a gazelleon times how much I caribou you! “May all your troubles last as long as your resolutions.” — Joey Adams. Make your mistakes next year and forever.” — Neil Gaiman, “With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” — Eleanor Roosevelt, “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” — C.S. Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals? The most fun part about making New Year’s resolutions is breaking New Year’s resolutions.

Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on. Now all I have to do is find someone who will trade lives with me. Make it a comical celebration.

It takes me all evening to set my clocks ahead a year. Dennis Wholey . And now we welcome the new year.

Funny Quotes. charities. The library before finals looks like the gym after new years. Happy New Year! ", "I'm a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser. Denver a mellower throng gathers to ring in the new year with the Hope this year will be the year when all your dreams come true.”, “On this New Year, may you change your direction and not dates, change your commitments and not the Calendar, change your attitude and not the actions, and bring about a change in your faith, your force and your focus and not the fruit. I’m so excited for the new year. New Year’s Resolution: Option A: lose weight Option B: Buy a Bigger Basket. Full of things that have never been. Walk tall, and smile more.

(That’s Alka Seltzer, not champagne. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” — Billy Crystal, “’Out with the old, in with the new’ is a fitting expression for a holiday that is based on vomiting.” — Andy Borowitz, “Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” — Oprah Winfrey, “Don’t make resolutions without an action plan. Guaranteed laughter and heaps of hilarity with this simple zoom game from JokeQuote. That is why; it is called the New Year.”, “We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. I wanted to take a quiet moment to let you know how much you mean to me. After 2020, my 2021 expectations are lowering faster than the ball in Times Square. We use cookies to collect information from your browser to personalize content and perform site analytics. Ring in your New Year's Eve party 2020 with the 100 best New Year quotes to help you celebrate the day and inspire the start of a new decade. Inspirational, Christmas, Sarcastic. Only 30 pounds to go. May you live up to the promises you have made and May you create for you and your loved ones the best New Year ever.”, “Leave the sorrows, pain, and sadness behind and let’s welcome the brand New Year with a smile.”, “New Year and Christmas is the time to say thank for all those blessings showered on us by our lord our savior who has sacrificed himself for us with the prayer to forgive us for sins Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.”, “On this New Year I wish that you have a wonderful January, a lovely February, a Peaceful March, a stress-free April, a fun-filled May, and Joy that lasts from June to November, and finally a happy December. Every New Years I resolve to lose 20 pounds, and I do.

You'd think after 49 years he'd try another one.- Wickedwordslinger ‏@StephenBCramer, 10...9...8...7...6...I think we should see other people...5...4...3...2...1...Jake Vig ‏@Jake_Vig, Help yourself. A new years resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.- AnonymousThis New Years I’m going to make a resolution I can keep: no dieting all year long.- Melanie White, Women get a little more excited about New Years Eve than men do. On the bright side, thanks to lockdown we never got used to writing 2020 on things, so 2021 should come easier. I don’t think we’re the same person all our lives. I think it’s great to make your first date a New Year’s party.

Rather than just writing Happy New Year in your messages you can make fun or say something cute.

I wish that this New Year leaves happy footprints of memories in your heart that you can cherish for years to come.”, “May this New Year bring wisdom and honesty among our politicians, May this New Year brings happiness and content among people.”, “When the New Year starts with colorful fireworks let it spread to your mind and soul and have a new year with fun and Dance.”, “Just as you touch the lives of friends with your innate sweetness, may your New Year be as sweet and savory as can be.”, “May God spread prosperity and joy in your life on this New Year and fulfill all your dreams.”, “We will open the book.

Privacy Policy. My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall.” — Aleister Crowley, “This New Years I was going to make a resolution never to be late again, but I didn’t wake up until January 2nd.” — Melanie White. All Rights Reserved.

I have to do it all over again??? I’ll probably keep it at 1280 x 1024 like always.

The humorous quotes below, though, will help you start the New Year smiling. threshold of pain- Joseph Connolly, Every New Year’s I have the same question: “How did I get home?”- Melanie White, An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in.

", "Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits. the year draws to a close, happy revelers jam New York’s Times Square I plan on staying the same awkward, sarcastic, Foul-mouthed delight, That you’ve all come to know and love! A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. A new years resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. New Year’s is the time to forget all your fears, drink a few beers, leave behind all your tears! Funny voting quotes and funny election quotes: elect to keep smiling! On occasion, we also use cookies to collect information from our toddlers, but that’s a totally different thing. ", "Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility.

", "Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. 2021, let’s do this! Last year was so much fun but I know this year is going to be even better. 21st birthday jokes, for that special rite of passage when the child becomes an adult in body and in....sometimes not much else.

lighting of the 200-Foot Doobie.- Dave Barry, I guess the Mayans are wondering what all the excitement is about.Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder, May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.- Joey Adams. Bring up your drinks and let’s rock this New Year eve party like never before.”, “Let’s bid a wonderful farewell to the old year and welcome the new one with optimism and hope.